Honoring the Seasons of Relationships

 Relationships are some of the most beautiful and rewarding parts of humanity and of this life. Some would say that the inter-human connections we foster are the true purpose of life. When the timing and circumstances align to gift us with a perfect match in a perfect person we create beautiful friendships more precious than gold. But nothing lasts forever. Not all relationships can weather time’s trickery, morphing into something we no longer recognize.

 

In a fast paced world we fall in and out of love with each other in rapid succession and friendships fall victim to the busy-ness of life. Like many people, I have heard myself promise to make time for old friends, months passing like fleeting birds, teasing us with imagined memories of excess. Memories of moments together that we loved stop washing us with joy and start squashing us with regret for not perpetuating reunion promises. Guilt torments us. We self-flagellate for re-assigning our priorities and suffer when we let whither those close connections we once held so dear. If we are lucky all parties feel the pull in the same hour and we can re-align. More often we miss each others’ good intentions and pull further apart. Next comes resentment and new stories. We imagine reasons why we aren’t in touch any longer or why we don’t reach out. Now, fully aware and in recognition of the time/priority conundrum, rather than feel badly for our own decisions it feels better to blame the responsibility on the person we once loved.

In truth, life has moved on for both of us. In truth, priority-renegotiation was imperative, not weakness. The renegotiation was mutual and purposeful. Our season has matured and moved on. Not every relationship was destined to survive the longevity of time. But this doesn’t lessen the magic of the relationship in the moment. A perfect partnering is a gift, a beautiful friendship, a true connection, a miraculous moment in time with another human being. Some relationships are meant to last a weekend, some a few years, and some a lifetime. They are perfect in their moment and in their own time. What a relief it is to know this beauty. What a relief that we don’t have to force a relationship beyond its completion. The wonder of honoring each relationship in its perfectly appointed life expectancy gives us permission to respect our needs and our evolving priorities and still wonder at the luster of our friendship. And when we give value to our own needs we make ourselves available for new opportunities and new connections.

I am so grateful for my incredible friendships over time. I am so grateful to those people who came into my life when they did and for the gifts and connections we engendered together. I am so grateful for opportunities to reconnect when we can without guilt. I have felt that guilt and all it did was erode the beauty of the relationship for what it was, robbing it of the honor it deserves. Every person who has meant the world to me is a person I wish happiness and fulfillment for. I am so happy to know that they can grow without restriction of our joined experience together but to use that joined experience as a part of their journey and to enhance their life adventure.

Each season is a miracle and its beauty is in its moment. Being present to the moment enriches each experience. We have an opportunity to honor the gift of connection for what it is and to not force it to be something it is not. Each human connection colors our experiences on earth despite the length of the relationship, making it no less beautiful. I am grateful for the beauty I have known, the people in my life today, and the miracle of what is to come.

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